Zombie Dog Official Band Blog

Hey, look what I found!

2011-10-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

We're not dead yet!

Ok. Yes we are. Zombie Dog was always meant to be a one-time thing, so don't hold your breath for a reunion tour anytime soon. (And if you have been holding your breath for the last two years, congratulations. You're some kind of awesome for pulling that off!)

Anyway, here's some other stuff that we recorded in or around that summer:

We visited my buddy Gregory Tanacea at Into the Hill Studios in Dubuque, IA. (Now also defunct.) We recorded a sweet high-def video of us rocking a couple of our songs. But since it was a free thing, and ItH studios was already just about to close up shop anyway, the videos never got edited.

Eventually, I got Gregory to send me the raw audio recordings. I turned them into these mp3s!

Adventures of Crisobal Pt. 2 - I forgot how much I hate typing that!
Happiness - My current nerd punk band doesn't play that one. I kind of miss it!
It's a Good Thing - Minimalist Mix - We did two takes, so I did two mixes.
It's a Good Thing - Maximal Mix - I layered the two takes together to try to get a more-full sound.

There's also this thing that I made shortly after the summer finished.

What? New content now?

2009-10-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

That's right, suckas! One last post from Steve.

During the middle of the tour, we paused to record some demos. We frantically laid down tracks for 5 songs over the course of about a day. We then spent three months mixing and mastering the tracks. (Mostly 'cause we're lazy.)

But we finally finished them! Now you can enjoy all your favorite ZD songs in crisp, studio-quality (...ish we were a little rushed for time during the actual recording) demo EP format!

It's a Good Thing
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2
Fat Kid Emo Pants
Happiness - By the time we reached this part of the recording process, the bass had slipped out of tune. I (Steve) couldn't get it to sound good with both bass and guitar, so there are two versions.
Happiness with bass
Carpedium - And with that exhortation of our greatness, I now take my leave.

Until next time, Zombie Dog out!

One Last Quote Post

2009-08-10T08:12:00.001-07:00

Hey folks, I'm more or less through my backlog of blog posts, so I think this will be my last. Sad!

The music stops. A car passes us on the right.
Me: What do you think?
Steve: I think that guy's kids had better be on fire.
Me: Mind if I just pick something?
Steve: Sure, just as long as it doesn't suck.

Gene: Here, in case you want to keep in contact with your fiddle player. (he hands me a flier for her band)
Laura: Don't do it! She won't shut up!
Me: She was a talker, wasn't she.
Laura: Jesus, I could have stolen her identity!

Me: I think Amelia likes me.
awkward silence.
Me: I think you like me.
Steve: Your mom likes you.

Steve: That's why I hate you.
Me: Haha! Wait... are you serious?
Steve: No, you're just high, and it's fun to mess with you.

Steve: They say you lose most of your heat through your head. Specifically, on a strip down the middle, more-so in the back.

Steve: You'd think it's a lot of fun visiting new cities and meeting people, but mostly it's just being irritable, lost, and smelly.

Steve: Please don't download porn onto my minivan.

We enter Idaho. 5 minutes later:
Gene: They're just tearing away at that mountain. I wonder what's in there?
Steve: Precious potatoes. My grandpappy worked in a potato mine until it closed.
Gene: Until he died from spud-lung, right?

Steve: Sometimes I wake up in the morning and say to myself 'where the fuck am I?!?' Then I'm pleasantly surprised to find out that it's a couch instead of the van.

Backstory: We're at a grocery store with a fellow couch surfer trying to purchase beer for the pants party in Bismark.
Surfer: This'll be debit.
Cashier: We only do credit. Want me to charge credit on your debit card?
Surfer: Why don't I just use my credit card?
Cashier: Well, you might want to use your debit card for the interest rate. Plus it comes out immediately.
Surfer: ...
Me: I don't see what's so difficult about this. I use my debit card pin with my credit card to make debit purchases on my credit card for tax purposes. Obviously.

Everyone but the cashier thought it was funny.

Last show

2009-08-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

So we played our last show on the first. It was a show at the Quays, and we did a shoddy version of recording it, thus the band has come full circle!

Commotion - This was Gene's set, so you can still kind of hear the vocals.
Company -
Bean and Joe - Gene and I keep getting each other's songs in each other's heads. What jerks.
Some Blues Song - I have no idea what this song is called.
Chelsea Hotel - actually played in New York. Whoo!
Carpedium - And now you can't hear lyrics...
It's a Good Thing - If I'd put the mic in the right place, it might be a good thing.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Turn around one last time, bright eyes.
Karate - And finally, we are most certainly not Jackie Chang in that movie where he pretends to be Jackie Chan and teams up with a Bruce Lee look-alike.
thE32nd - (19), so we didn't quite hit 32.
Happiness - we were pretty happy to be playing this show.
TAoCP2 - This was the worst possible song on the tour to break a bass string. So of course, we did.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Woah, indeed.

We Talk To a Racist Cop

2009-08-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

Steve posted about the great Philladelphia open mic. Well, the adventure continued.

Back outside, a white cop pulls up behind the van parked just outside the venue. Good naturedly, he says, "Texas huh? You guys are lost! You are REALLY LOST!" We have Texas plates you see, as that's where Steve came from. Gene starts chatting with him and explains, "We're in a band on tour."

"Oh? What kind of music?"
"Rock."
"Rock music in the ghetto! I guess this place is coming up."
This amuses me as the area felt like Brooklyn in the sense that it could once have been dangerous, but now it was exactly the kind of place I'd want to spend a Saturday night.

"My niece is on an air force base in Te..."
He stops dead, mid-sentence, turns, and oggles a pair of black girls walking by.
"You know, rookie cops say, 'I could never get into that,' but I guess after you're out here for a while you develop a taste."

"Alright, well, uh, I guess we're going to get going." Gene had caught word of a dance party at another place. We get directions from the officer and head out.

I lost my shoes earlier in the tour, and the place had a no-flip-flops dress code, so we ended up just going out to get a couple of drinks and calling it a night.

In the morning, Gene gets up to feed the meter. We head downstairs to meet him, and I start bitching about something or another, as I often do when I'm hungry. He starts to take off. Steve starts yelling, "whoah whoah whoah!" I look over and see that Steve's only half in the van. I chime in, "Whoah whoah whoah! You're running over Steve!" Nobody was hurt, so I can say in retrospect that Steve had the funniest terrified expression on his face. We picked up a couple of cheesesteaks to make it all good. On the way, Steve was navigating.

Steve: Turn right here on Syndor.
Gene: It's pronounced Snydor.
Steve: Ah, well, you say potato, I say fuck you.
Me: (Laughing for 5 minutes)

Cleveland and Pittsburgh

2009-08-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Day 2 in Cleveland represented for me everything that's great about this tour. I woke up at noon in the Akron house, and spent the next six hours hanging out on the porch with everyone and their dogs drinking coffee and beer. Gene made a great dinner for everyone, and we all hit on the cute girl. We rocked extra hard at a really fun open mic night in Cleveland, and stayed pretty late. Finally we headed home, unwound, and called it a night around 4.

Well, there was a bit of a misadventure. Gene is a tortured sleeper, so between two nights of no sleep, a couple of beers, and a couple of joints, he passed out in the van on the way home. I take a sleeping-dogs-lie approach to that dude when he finally gets some sleep, so we just left him in the van. Around 3:30 our friend George got up to go to work, came back in, and said, "Gene's sleeping in the street." I thought that meant he grabbed a sleeping bag and was sleeping in the grass beside the van or something, but nope. He'd left the door open, walked around the van, and passed out in the street. Luckily he woke up enough that he could walk himself back to the house as he's a very large man. Nobody got hurt, so now it's hilarious.

Day 2 in Pittsburg was fun in a laid back way. We slept in, got the local famous sandwich, checked out a museum, Gene cooked dinner, and we hung out with our couch surfing hostess. She's into roller derby, and she and her friend were describing how they don't bruise any more, super hero style. We played an open mic at a bar with a great vibe, except for the longest time we were the only non-employees there. Gene and I joined the host for a while on some of his songs. He's a pretty soulful dude, and I'm a hack rock drummer. I was cracking him up. It was fun and ridiculous.

Super Secret Practice Session

2009-08-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

July 31, a day of rest and practice before our final show on August 1.

Here's some stuff we recorded while jamming:

Something in Between - Where do you get off calling Gene a crazy super-villain, huh?
Catch Me - Complete with Steve trying to frantically play along with his computerized synths.

More to come.

Philly "Jus Words"

2009-08-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

We stopped in Philadelphia again on the way back to NYC and found ourselves another open mic.

We called them up, and they said they were happy to have our band play. When we got there, we discovered it was more of an open forum/poetry jam called "Jus Words." There was even a house band providing backing music for a few spoken word and sung pieces.

When we got there, the host was discussing race relations and the recent arrest of a Harvard professor with the the audience (a huge crowd by the way, over 100 people there).

Also, it turned out we were three of the maybe six white people in the room. We felt somewhat out of our element. Gene began panicking, insisting that we would not be welcome and that even if we were allowed to play we'd be booed off the stage.

The bartender assured us that they'd love us and that this open mic was all about doing your own thing and being accepted for that. In our case, our own thing is weird rock music, so we'd be accepted for that. (I later talked to a few other people there who expressed their happiness at seeing a rock band there. One said that he much preferred punk to the normal hip hop and R&B normally played at that event.) Others came over and told us that we were welcome to play rock and expressed great interest in hearing us play.

Still, Gene needed a drink to steel his nerves. Dave ordered the bartenders specialty. She told him it was called "a piece of ass." She then poured two shots of 151 rum, another shot of hard liquor (I forget what), and some sour mix into a glass and passed it to Gene.

We eventually hauled our equipment up to the stage (they had a band, but no guitar) and set up.

We then received the best intro we've ever gotten and went on to play:
TAoCP2 - It was quite well received.
We were only allotted two songs, so I passed the mic to a still-nervous Gene, who cracked this joke to loosen up the crowd. If you listen closely, you'll notice two people laughing. That would be Dave and myself. Awkward...
We then played:
thE32nd - Holy carp! This is the most enthusiastic crowd ever!

Two more days worth of bootlegs are forthcoming. I'll post them when I finish them.

Pittsburg: Phoning it in Since 1758

2009-07-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

We played another open mic in Pittsburg, PA last night. It seems that this is a really bad city to play music in during the summer. The students are all gone, and as Gene (who used to go to school here) said, the market is flooded with venues.

So we played a whole bunch of songs to no one except the bartender, sound guy, and MC, and I put together the most half-assed bootlegs yet.

First, Gene

thE32nd - (17)
Company - Soothing you in improperly balanced stereo since 2009.
If I Gave You a Guitar - If we ever install a poll plugin to the blog, the first question will have to be "If I gave you a guitar, would you write me a song?" Followed, of course, by "Do you like me? Circle one: Yes/No"
Chelsea Hotel - Dave likes this song, but he missed it. Sucker!
I Likes - Me talk good!

Then, all of us

It's a Good Thing - Zombie Dog phoning it in, Whoo! Actually, we played alright, I'm just too lazy to make the bootlegs sound good.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - I have nothing to say about this that wouldn't be a potentially offensive joke about our ritard in the second verse.
TAoCP2 - Ok. I'm trimming something out of this beast.

Finally, all of us but with Gene singing

thE32nd (full band) (18)
Commotion - I wish I knew if having my own room in Hell was standard or if it's actually a perk...
Catch Me - Barring any unusual capitalization, I'm pretty sure I got the name right.
Something In Between - Gene's told me that name something like three times, but I keep calling it Supervillain. I'm "that guy" in the band.
Karate - For the last time, we're like Jackie Chan in that movie where he was his own twin and not the one where he teamed up with Jet Li in feudal China.

Share and enjoy

Pittsburg, for real this time.

2009-07-29T14:09:00.001-07:00

We finally made it to Pittsburg on this tour. Last night we played an open mic at PD's Pub. The audience was pretty apathetic, but their equipment was very nice.

Theoretically, there was a live feed of the show somewhere, but I haven't been able to find an archive of it yet. Perhaps on their MySpace?

It's a Good Thing - Nothing really exceptional or funny here.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - This is the catchiest drum beat the computer has ever picked for this song.
TAoCP2 - No time for banter! Next song! Next song!
Happiness - This was the happiest those bar patrons have ever been.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Those woahs are painful, ain't they!

More Cleveland

2009-07-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

We played the Kobalt in Cleveland again.

No time for banter!

It's a Good Thing
Total Eclipse of the Heart
TAoCP2
Silly Dreams
Black Girlfriend
Company
thE32n'd - (16) half way there!

Cleveland acoustic set

2009-07-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

We played an open mic hosted by The Uncanny XeLa outside of Cleveland. Our band were about the only musicians who showed up, so we each did sets.

Dave - rawking the house since 1983!

Christmas Eve - A ghost story by Dave. How sweet!
Must've been the pills I took - Dave's favorite Hank Williams the Eighty-Seventh cover

Gene - Singer/songwritering your faces off!

Black Girlfriend - Gene busts out the Porno for Pyros. (Hi mom!) Complete with Xe La discussing how this open mic usually goes and hecklers demanding drums.
Summer, a Year Ago - A new Gene original.
Bearsaw - This is another Gene original that I don't know the name of. However, you can't really hear it over the discussions of the bear loose on campus and the movie Saw II (warning: spoilers!), so I decided Bearsaw is a good name. (Gene says it's "Catch Me", but I'm sticking with "Bearsaw").
Bermuda Highway - Seriously! This is like New Gene Song Extravaganza '09 around here... Oh wait... He tells me this is a My Morning Jacket song. Cancel the Extravaganza
Commotion - How can you not get up and dance to this upbeat number?
Company - I suppose we could call it Old Gene Song Extravaganza '09...
Summer, Before Last - Ok. That's probably not the name, but I'm too lazy to find Gene for the real name again.

Zombie Dog - These songs sound awful acoustic!

Acoustic Grindcore - well that ended predicably!
It's a Good Thing - Actually, that went pretty well.
TAoCP2 - Meh...
Happiness - Theoretically, this one should work pretty well acoustically, right?

Steve - Too nerdy to rock, huh? Well I'll show you!

Nerd Rock - Not really rock with just an acoustic, but whatever.
Teenage Girlfriend - A brand new one! Never before heard by anyone but me.

Pickup show in Toledo

2009-07-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

We randomly played in a bar run by one of Gene's friends in Toledo. Some other acts were playing that evening, and we loaned them some equipment. In a fit of gratitude, they let us clear the bar out with our loud-ass music.

It was an interesting setup because the house PA wasn't your standard "two big speakers next to a stage" array. They had an assortment of different sizes of speakers throughout the bar to play the radio through, so depending on where you were, different parts of the music were FAR more pronounced than others and blah blah blah to the nerdy nerd nerd.

It's a Good Thing - The DR-1 was really close to the vocalist, so somehow the vocals actually come through ok.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - In case you can't tell, our rhythm section was a little stoned that night. We also played the song at 240 bpm, which was an adventure.
TAoCP2 - and then the wheels fell off...
Happiness - Why is the song getting slower as we go?!?
Summertime Roll - I give up! We're not even using the microphones anymore!
thE32nd - (15)
Company - I'm done! It's all you Gene. *leaves in a huff*
Bean and Joe - By popular demand. (Seriously, there were death threats if Gene didn't play this.)

2009-07-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

The girl running the open mic in Chicago who kept yelling, "Sexy beast!" at Gene while he played bought us a round and had this toast for us:

To all of you and your enormous dicks.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Then, the legitimate show we played the day after in Chicago was great. There were tons of people who were getting into it, my sister and brother in law were there, we played well, and the banter was good. Now, I yell, "Zombie Dog!" after roughly two thirds of the songs we play. Then,

Girl: My brother runs this place. I loved your set, BUT! WHAT IS YOUR BAND CALLED?!
Me: Uh... Zombie Dog.
Girl: Oh, huh.

Now we're hanging out in Toledo for a couple of days. We played a surprise show two nights ago, went dancing last night, and are about to hit up a sweat lodge which is some sort of insane sauna that's frankly quite scary.

Chicago... Let's call it a "cool down" show?

2009-07-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

We played at the "Friends and Co." bar. Once again, we felt bad for crushing the hopes and dreams of a local musician.

The guy who organizes shows hooked us up with a guy named Ken who did acoustic covers of punk ballads. He was super excited to rock out with a serious band from New York. Then we let him know how "serious" this band really is. He seemed sad. :(

Either way, we played these songs:
(Note, the file transfer is going slowly, so not all of the songs may be available immediately)

Honest Man - Gene rocks the My Morning Jacket.
Company - I still want one of those books about parachutes.
Bean and Joe - As plagiarized by Paul Simon.
The Breathing - I can't remember who this is a cover of. So I'm gonna guess... Disturbed? That sounds like the name of a Disturbed song, right?
It's a Good Thing - Chicago's a good thing.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - I decided to try out adding curse word(s) to this song. I'm still unsure as to if it's awesome enough to be worth the cursing.
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - I was planning to make meaningful eye contact with one of the cuter girls in the bar on the word "baby" (You know, as a flirty stage presence thing.) But she took that exact moment to go to the bathroom.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - As requested by Tricia our sister.
Happiness - No time for banter, we're leaving in 5!
Carpedium - One day, we'll play this song well, and it will rock!
Karate - So many f bombs! Good thing it's a bar, and there's no kids around. (Also, we are definitely not like Jackie Chan in that one movie I hear he did early in his career which was actually an adult film and not a kung fu flick at all!)

Chicago. Let's call it a "warm up" show.

2009-07-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

We played an open mic in Chicago last night. Our sister Patricia came along.

At one point in the evening, she asked if all open mics are as much of sausage fests as this one.
I said, "yeah, they're usually a lot like this."
"Though in this case, it might be more due to the 1950's era pornography they're showing on all the TVs."

Yeah... That was weird.

Company - Gene returns with this popular classic.
Chelsea Hotel - Dave loves this song. I'm pretty sure I don't know how to spell it.
thE32nd (just Gene) - (13)
It's a Good Thing - The sound system was pretty awful, and we didn't do a sound check. Long story short, the guitar is very quiet, and we sound remarkably good!
Total Eclipse of the Heart - It's still epic, even if we played it 50 beats per minute too slow.
TAoCP2 - Old song, new abbreviation.
Happiness - By executive decision of Dave. I think Gene and I both wanted to sing Karate.
thE32nd ('full' band) - This place had the worst boom mic I've ever used, so no backup vocals. Also (14)

Amusing stories we've been meaning to post

2009-07-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

Gene finds a new sleep aid

Do you have trouble falling asleep? Do you have trouble sleeping through the night? Do you wish you could just have a good night's sleep? Well now there's hope.

From the makers of the antidepressant "Beer" comes "Tequila." Tequila's mono-medicinal treatment has two stages. Alcohol helps you fall asleep, and alcohol helps you stay asleep. Finally, you can have the deep, restful sleep you deserve.

Tequila.

Side effects of tequila include decreased motor skills, poor judgment, and sudden emotional swings. Make sure you can dedicate at least seven hours to sleep and/or partying before taking tequila. Do not operate heavy machinery while using tequila. Pregnant or nursing women should double their dosage as they are drinking for two.

Magic guitar pick day

About two years ago, I (Steve) had backstage passes to see Eric Clapton in concert. Clapton himself leaves immediately after the show to call his family and sleep, so I didn't get to meet him. However, I did get two guitar picks stamped with info about the tour. ("Eric Clapton USA tour 2008" etc.) They're pretty nice picks so I've been using them on tour.

Unfortunately, I lost one of them early in the tour. My set of picks was incomplete. *sad face composed primarily of punctuation*
Then, in Seattle, I saw a red guitar pick on the ground. I said to myself, "Sweet! Free guitar pick." I picked it up and started reading the text on it: "EC WORLD TOUR '06/'07"

Wait a minute... "EC"? I had just found the same pick I had lost, but from the previous year's tour!

And that's how I saved Christmas

When a Band Loves a Girl

2009-07-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Most of the time it's us three dudes hanging out with each other, getting on each others' nerves, and punching each other in the arm. So when we get to a party or show or something with cute girls, or even just one cute girl, we start hitting on everyone pretty much. The funny thing is that a good percentage of the time, we all pick the same girl to flirt with.

That's right, if we're coming to your town, you may be the lucky girl to get a van full of rock stars/weirdos flirting with you all night. It's funny too because there's this tension where we all root for each other, but at the same time want the girl to like ME. Hence, we get pretty mixed results as wing men.

We have various styles and approaches. Apparently I use a different voice, and Gene knows instantly when I'm hitting on someone without even looking. Steve goes for an I-don't-care approach and cracks dumb jokes, which works really well, confusingly to me, as I usually just punch him in the arm when he starts cracking dumb jokes (you know, unless the rhythm section got stoned earlier). Gene plays it cool because he's cool I guess. It helps that I'm the good looking one, though I am the drummer and married and all.

We're ridiculous. Me in particular. Rock and Roll!

Dickin' Around

2009-07-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

We tend to blog about the more adventuresome parts of the trip, but I thought I'd dedicate a post to the activity that takes up, oh I don't know, 60% of our time.

We spend a lot of time driving around fairly lost, leaving messages at venues that never really call us back, waiting for someone to finish packing up so we can go already, waiting for the show in a couple of hours without much to do in the meantime, waiting for the first five acts to wrap up, standing around outside after the show trying to flirt and schmooze a floor to sleep on, waiting for the friend you just met to call his friend and see about the party, and so on and so on.

We are master dicking arounders. Our favorite ways to kill time include

Chucking a frisbee around.
Picking on Steve.
Flirting with the same girl (more on that later).
Calling Mara.
Drinking, much more so if the beer is free.

Rock and Roll!

Madison then... silence.

2009-07-17T16:08:00.000-07:00

We're taking a few days off to visit family, so don't expect too many posts for a bit.

Yesterday, we played on the campus library mall at Madison. It was pretty rawkin!

It's a Good Thing - Despite being our sound check (again), we sounded pretty good on this one!
Happy Birthday - Technically, the copyright infringement entailed by playing this song is among the least illegal aspects of the show... Happy birthday, Nathan Hotdog!
Total Eclipse of the Heart - So. Damn. Epic!
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - People have told me that I don't sound particularly concerned as I sing "Look out! Giant booger, baby." I showed them last night. Listen to the concern in that last chorus! I am concerned, my friends. Concerned!
Happiness - We're gonna say that that's "concern" you hear in my voice and not "angst."
Fat - Ok. That is angst you hear there, but it's ironic angst.
thE32nd - (12)
Company - You can't hear it, but Dave and I danced around and looked really cool during this one.
It's a Good Thing (Reprise) - It's not just repeating a song from earlier if we call it a reprise.

We should be back to posting by Tuesday

Minneapolis

2009-07-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's show was an open mic in Minneapolis, MN.

It was pretty fun. Then Dave and I drank a bunch and got in an argument. Good times!

It's a Good Thing - yup.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - indeed
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - fer sure
thE32nd - (11)
Company - yes
Chelsea Hotel - OK.

Steve Decides Not To Pick Up a Hooker

2009-07-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

After the last Fargo show we went to grab a beer. I went outside to call Mara, and came back in to grab a slice of pizza. Steve and Gene made a friend! Only later did I piece together bits and pieces of the conversation from talking with Steve and Gene. I wish I had been there.

Girl: I've got a mixed kid so you know I like creamy guys.
Steve: Um... That's cool.

Girl: I used to strip.
Gene: How long ago was that?
Girl: Two years ago. I still do for the right people. I do other work too.
Gene: I bet you do.

Girl: I'm going to find some company.
Steve: Good luck.
Girl: What, you don't think I can do it?

Other guy: I thought I gave you five dollars to call a cab.

Steve's Birthday and a Few Other Things...

2009-07-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

1. I am the sweetest pool player in this tribe.

2. Dave MAY or MAY NOT take his love for Santagold a little too personally.

3. The fact that I am an ex-addict has so far had NO immediate barring on my ability to seem more "mysterious" and/or "interesting", despite certain rumors.

4. This entire experience has absolutely hindered my ability to have an intelligent conversation or seem at all interested in a potentially-intelligent conversation.

5. There is yet another contest to find out who will kill another band mate first.

6. "Ruling out no possibilities at all times" also means that sometimes I have to enjoy when and where I'm at, even if its just driving (and we all know how much driving can be a pain-in-the-ass).

7. Loneliness is harder the FURTHER you are from home.

8. There is no time for hesitation now...

9. I am beat beyond belief and there is no end in sight.

10. Dreams of peril for men of peril. Everything else is a lure to your definite end. Besides, if I didnt suffer from nightmares, I would sleep all the way through the living madness. THANKS NIGHTMARES!

12. "You too" is NOT a proper response to a sentiment like "Sweet Dreams" or "Nice to meet you" or anything of that caliber..U2 is a band, not a response.

(heart) Gene

Happy Birthday to me!

2009-07-13T16:00:00.001-07:00

It's my birthday, so here's some bootlegs from the show we did in Fargo yesterday. (4 people showed up; it was awesome!)

Carpedium - This is a way better choice for our sound check than our hit song!
Summertime Roll - We figured out how to get the delay pedal working again, so we can play this song again.
It's a Good Thing - And yet... we still haven't gotten our sound issues ironed out. Dammit!
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Too little, too late, sound system.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Once upon a time I was falling in love; then I was only falling apart.
Happiness - Whoo! We kept the beat on the bridge!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Sing-alongs work best when only 4 people show!
thE32nd - (10)
Company - My books mention parachutes. I don't know what Gene's problem is.

2-fer except not really.

2009-07-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

It's been two shows since I last posted bootlegs, so theoretically, there should be two sets of bootlegs. Unfortunately, yesterday's show was at Project Noise in Bismark, ND (a very cool venue. Check it out), and somehow we are unable to record successfully there. The first time we played, the recordings didn't turn out. This time, we forgot to make the recordings in the first place...

Anyway, Missoula! We played a sweet show with a bunch of experimental and hardcore bands including Moms, Fag Rag, and Filth Mattress. (Kind of like Rush with two drummers and no Geddy vocals, weird deerhoof-esque experimentation and squealing, and melodic hardcore but with a punk drummer and vocalist respectively).

We played this stuff:

It's a Good Thing - I have nothing witty to say.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - We're starting to get solid enough with this material that I have not quippy witticisms for you.
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - "This song is about giant snot monsters attacking Russia. It's dedicated to the ladies!"
happiness - "This is our ballad, but we dedicated the last song to the ladies already... SO this one's for the dudes!"
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Drawing a blank on funny things to say again...
Karate - Once more, the movie where Jackie Chan was his own twin, not the one where he conducted a police investigation completely straight without doing anything funny at all.
thE32nd - (9)

The Other Team

2009-07-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Last night we headlined AND got paid $40, which we spent entirely on beer. After only an 11 hour drive from Montana, I'm beginning to see the financial sense in starting a band.

At the bar after, Gene and I hit it off with an all-girl birthday party.

Guy from band: Looks like you guys made some friends.
Me: I guess so.
Guy from band: I wonder if they play softball together.
Me: If they do, they're all batting for the other team.
Guy from band: (thoughtful pause) I wonder if they're lesbians.

A later non-sequitur from the same guy: Man, if I went to prison, I'd find the girlie-est looking guy and totally have sex with him.

More power to you my friend.

clicking links is easy..you can get off this ride whenever you want to..

2009-07-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

Spirits of the Red City

MISSOULA

polebridge polebridge

ODE to the Roddes

and then there's ME..

xo GENE

Driving

2009-07-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

Against all our best efforts, we played a second show in Montana last night. We pretty much rocked. Now, the 10 - 12 hour drive to Bismark, ND, where I guess we're headlining (but not being paid). That's how you know we're awesome.

A Show in Montana

2009-07-10T12:27:00.001-07:00

For the 8 or so days we've spent in this glorious state, last night was the first time we played a show. The Missoula crowd convinced us to stick around for tonight's party, which is more in keeping with the party-don't-play-shows that I'm used to in Montana.

More quotes I had lying around:

Me: Can I get the keys?
Gene: Do you need your cocaine out of the van?
Me: That's right.
Gene: Well don't do too much.
Steve: To be fair though, we are rock stars.
The empty bar: silence.

This was a story Gene had the last time we were in Billings, which we're skipping today so we can party in Missoula.

I was dancing with this girl, and it's really fun. Then Mr. Stud walks in and that was the end of that. Steve left already, and I didn't remember how to get home, what the address was, or either of your numbers. Some guy spends the next hour and a half with me trying to get home. Finally I call my brother. I said, "What's the number I've been calling you from?" He said, "Do you realize it's 6:00am here?" I said, "IT'S 4:00 HERE! JUST GIVE ME THE NUMBER!" Then Steve picked up and we were right around the corner.

What?!? We played a show in Montana?!?

2009-07-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

That's right! Over the past two weeks, various members of the band have spent about 8 days in Montana; last night was the first time we played a show instead of just partying.

We hadn't practiced in about a week, yet last night was one of our tightest shows so far. If only the PA had been badass enough to handle all that rock... (You might hear a little distortion on the mp3s.)

It's a Good Thing - Considering this is one of our best songs, we probably shouldn't open with in since we've never got our sound issues ironed out yet. Oh well, I suppose that just makes really good recordings of it extra special.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - You can tell we played this one well because we didn't cut the intro from the bootleg.
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Where's part one, you ask? Well, you see, part 1 isn't as good. It's part of a rock operetta entitled "A Brief History of Canada." Obviously, part one is a low part of the quintet used only to establish plot. (Also, Dave probably would have vetoed it as "too nerdy.")
Happiness - You may have noticed that I'm rambling a lot in the commentary today. I'm not going to tell you why. Suffice to say, listen to that distortion on the synths! Weird!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Guess who's gotten most into the sing a long part of this song so far:
   A. Drunk hecklers in a bar
   B. Actual emo kids
   C. Dave's friends in New York
   D. My friends in Eau Claire
   E. all-ages art school crowd
     Yup. The answer was B (though the drunk hecklers were pretty enthusiastic)
thE32nd - (8)
Company - Some encouragement would do us all some good, but you're not getting it!
Karate - No, we're not like Jackie in that movie where he worked as a TV chef either.

Share and enjoy

A Lot of Imaginary Action

2009-07-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

Our band is good and all, but I'm personally most proud of our banter. The, uh, bits where we aren't playing our instruments. I guess most of the time it's a you-had-to-be-there kind of thing, but for kicks, here's the banter and a transcription from our last show.

The Audio

The Transcription

(we play Total Eclipse)
Audience: Yes!
Me: Zombie Dog!
Audience: Is that an original?
Me: That's original, we wrote that, most people don't know that about us. I still don't know who actually wrote that song. I keep saying it's Bonnie and Clyde or Sonny and Cher.
Steve: Bonnie Tyler.
Me: Oh yeah, this one's a good one. If I do say so myself.
Steve: This one's about giant monsters destroying Russia.
Me: It's in Russian actually, watch out.
(we play Adventures Of...)
Me: Oh yeah, so check it out. My brother wrote this software that plays along with the band. It's not just pre-recorded, it's actually, like, listening and responding.
Steve: We gave the computer sentience so it could play along with us.
Me: Yeah, but it's trying to take over the band, so we're kind of rethinking that one.
Audience: Like Terminator.
Me: Exactly. It's like Hal over here. "I'm not going to let you play that tempo Dave." That's funny because my name is Dave, so... Yeah, this one's good too, it's got a sing along bit which... You'll see it coming, it's pretty obvious.
Steve: It is.
Dave: Just follow me, I'm the drummer.
(we play Fat Kid Emo Pants)
Me: You see all that singing and drumming at the same time? That shit's hard man. Wait, I mean stuff. This is an all ages show isn't it. Don't tell your mom we just swore.
Steve: Did you notice that as soon as we mentioned the computer it turned it's volume way up? It thinks it's all important, like, "I'm the best member of the band!"
Me: "Computer solo!"
Steve: "Whoooo!" Um, should we do our ballad?
Me: Yeah, let's do the ballad.
Steve: You guys want to hear a ballad?
Me: This one's for the ladies!
(we play Hapiness)
Audience: That was lovely.
Me: Awwwwe. That was written for an imaginary girlfriend of the band's. That's not weird right? We're getting a lot of imaginary action on this tour, you guys have no idea. We're going to do one of Gene's songs. We picked this guy up in Toledo. He's like, "Can I be in your band?" To which we said, "Ok." That's about as complicated as that conversation was.
Steve: Turns out he's a cook!
Gene: I just got done reading Dale Carnegie, and I approached them very tactfully and said, "You guys are really good, but you need a bass player."
Me: Which is true.
Gene: "And I am a bass player. So you should take me." Dale Carnegie.
Me: We're all Dale Carnegie fans here I imagine, so... we've all read his latest books.
Steve: I have no idea who that is. Way to make me look like a moron.
(the mic is way too short for Gene)
Steve: Adopt a wider rock stance Gene.
Gene: This is a true story.
Me: Mostly about me.
(we play Karate)

Just some stuff and stuff

2009-07-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Katie: You remember how you used to borrow my toothbrush when you came to visit?
Me: Yeah. Why, you need to borrow my toothbrush?
Katie: No, but the dog did.

Steve: I was nonplussed.
Me: I think you're using nonplussed backwards.
Steve: Well then I was plussed.
Me: Plussed isn't a word.
Steve: Yeah it is, I plussed two and two to make 4.

Spokane

2009-07-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

Right now Dave and I are in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada visiting our little sister; Gene is somewhere in rural Montana. Quick recaps of how we got here:

Friday, we played in Spokane, WA. At 8:00 we called a punk venue called the Cretin Hop. (Bootlegs below)
Friday night, instead of sleeping, we piled into the van to drive to Polebridge, MT for a July 4th party we'd heard rumors of.
Saturday, we partied in rural Montana with some friends from Missoula. Notable events there:
River surfing. Someone tied a surfboard to the bank of the river. We all took turns trying to surf on it. Dave, lacking clothing that would not get swept down the river opted to do so naked. We forgot to take pictures, but it looked like a much less majestic version of this:

Dave also tried to throw the van keys into the river. Fortunately, he missed by several inches, and we weren't stranded in Poleridge.
The drinking Frisbee game. It involved throwing Frisbees at empty beer bottles and drinking. Good times.
Music. A local band called "7 Smart Fellers" played pretty decent "jug band" country pretty much all day.

Today, we abandoned Gene with some Missoula friends so that Dave and I could come to Canada and visit some family. We'll get the tour back on track in about 4 days when we meet Gene in Missoula again.

Here's what we played in Spokane:
Total Eclipse of the Heart - We played "It's a Good Thing" first but forgot to record it. Is it ironic that our radio single is the song we have the fewest recordings of?
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - How does the octave jump sound? I think I'm keeping that!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - It was kind of a punky venue, so we got right to the punky music
Happiness - It was kind of a punky venue, so we... played our soothing love ballad?
Karate - We're like Jackie Chan in that movie where he was his own twin, NOT the one where he teams up with Chinese pop stars to fight vampires.
thE32nd - (7)

Hanging out with my bro'

2009-07-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

My name's Steve; I'm Dave's little brother. I'm this many.

I like hanging out with my big brother. He's really cool. But sometimes he's mean too! He yells at me and calls me annoying, and sometimes he even beats me up!

But when he smokes pot, he becomes the coolest brother ever! He doesn't yell or anything. He says nice things and laughs at all my jokes. Hanging out with Dave is way more fun when he's high! Thanks weed!

50%

2009-07-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the exact halfway point in our 64 day tour. We've been out here barely over a month, though it kind of fells like it's been years.

Anyway, we played at a biker bar. Aside from a few "tips" (wink, wink; nudge, nudge!), the audience was pretty lukewarm. But the beer they paid us in was cold, so they had that going for them. Anyway, here are our bootlegs, completely free of audience interference!

Summertime Roll - This is the version we played first, while our rhythm section was still relatively sober.
It's a Good Thing - Don't bother listening, it took us until adventures to get our sound issues ironed out.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Seriously, you're just wasting your time clicking that link. Skip on to Adventures!
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - There ya' go!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - If I know one thing, it's that grizzled old bikers in Kaiser helmets love being called fat kids!
Happiness - We were going to do this one before Fat Kid, but the hot girls we wanted to dedicate it to had stepped out for a smoke.
"smoke" break
If I Gave You a Guitar - Some soothing Geneius music to ease us into our second set.
Bean and Joe - Dave demanded chelsea hotel. This was played instead?
thE32nd - (6)
Karate - We're not Jackie Chan from that movie where he teamed up with Sammo Hung and Biao Yuen either, just the one where he was his own twin.
I Am the Greatest - Ah, Boomerang looping pedal. How much ass can you kick?
Carpedium - I think you can consider this day seized.

Lessons learned - The computer is less prone to attempt to seize control of the band when we make it louder.
Old bikers really don't like being called fat kids.
Tire irons hurt.

Thanks Cody, Alice, and Portland

2009-07-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Our fine hosts in Portland showed us a great time, gave us a great place to sleep, and made us breakfast. They're my new favorites.

Last night at the last minute I got us a show at a local biker bar. We rocked medium hard, and got flashed twice, but I missed it both times! Gah!

Steve: It's a good thing we quit when we did as the rhythm section got more stoned after every break.

I should really be more on the ball about this

2009-07-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

So here are the bootlegs from two days ago in Seattle. Last night's show doesn't have any recordings because I forgot the DR1 at our hosts' house.

Chris' poem - A guy named Chris came up to me before the open mic to ask if I could play some sweet guitar riffs along with his poem. I said ok. What resulted is some of the finest white-boy AABBCCDDEE... poetry you've ever heard! (Ok, maybe not finest, but it's better than For My Dad)

Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - I should count my blessings that I didn't subtitle that song. Otherwise my wrists would already have fallen off from typing it.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Sadly, all the kids (fat or otherwise) had left the open mic before we played this one.
It's a Good Thing - No Total Eclipse that night. They had a pretty staunch "no covers" policy.
I Am the Greatest - It just doesn't sound the same without the Boomerang. Wah de da, wah de da, WAAAAAAH!
Happiness - This song is quickly become the ballad I've played the most times.
Karate - Note: I am not like Jackie Chan in that movie where he had a robo-tuxedo; only in the one where he was his own twin.

Gene did a set on his own:
Company - I've got a set of those books where they mention love and parachutes. Let me tell you, that is a thrill ride!
thE32nd - (6)
Gene hasn't told me the name of this song yet - Apparently, the guy from Spirits of the Red City, whose songs all seem to be about alcoholism, broken relationships, and suicide thinks this song is pretty dark. Kudos, Gene! Kudos.

Quote Roundup

2009-07-01T14:11:00.001-07:00

Last night's open mic in Portland was fun, and the bar had a great depressing/meth head vibe to it. The women's bathroom door said, "Drugs are your problem, don't make them our problem." There was a crazy older guy who was flash-dancing all over the place, doing somersaults and running backwards with high knees, that kind of thing. The bartender, while nice, didn't give me a free drink after I tipped him $2.50 on $5.50 worth of beer, played a set he really liked, and told him I only had a dollar left. He took my dollar and brought me back a 6 oz. glass of his cheapest beer. Haha!

This morning at 7:30 my phone started ringing. I couldn't find it, woke the entire band up, and finally got it. I got the message, "This is a reminder that your gas meter reading schedule will be updated to..." to which I (quietly) started yelling, "fuuuuck youuuu!" Then we slept in to 1:30.

Alright, quotes!

Steve: The super gas was the same price, so expect a little more ass kicking from the minivan this leg.

Gene: I'm doing laundry. Hopefully you don't mind if your underthings tumble with mine.
Steve: Just so long as they aren't tumbling with your sugar momma's underwear.
Gene: I think you missed the point of that entirely.
Me: Haha!

Hippies and Hitchhikers

2009-06-30T19:42:00.001-07:00

Montana is friendly, and as far as we can tell, filled with hippies, house parties, and folk bands.

We picked up a hitchhiker. Here he is taking up all the room in the world next to Gene.
Then Gene took over. "I'LL DRIVE!!!" Poor Steve was stuck talking with him, so I transcribed this brilliant conversation.

Guy: I've got six wives all over the country. I just have to find which one will send me some money. I've got some cigarette butts in my pocket, a book of matches, a lighter, and a dollar in my pocket. I'm Irish! Can't nobody mess with the Irish. Long as you got a penny in your pocket. I'm looking for a fight in Butte. I've got $11,000, I just can't get to it. I'm looking for my wife in Butte. She's a little ugly toothless Indian girl. I can say that because I love her.
Steve: Ok! (nervous laughter)
Guy: At least I've been able to keep mine.
Steve: That's always good.
Guy: Well if you can eat corn on the cob. OK poof, that went right over your head. do I embarrass you?
Steve: Eh... (nervous shoulder shrug)
Guy: I used to be in Vietnam. One thing I really did like though was my 44 magnum. That son of a bitch would knock a fucking ice box off its feet. Ok I'll shut up.
Steve: It's alright.
Guy: Birthday present here (indicates his hat). I'll probably sell it if I can. I do it all the time. These are broke right now (indicates his knuckles). Yeah they tried to put me in jail 6 days ago. I said for what? They said, "For fighting." You know, if someone hits me in the fucking mouth I'll hit him back. The cop says next time I'll throw you in jail. Three hots and a cot, a place to sleep. This guy from Australia filmed me for a movie called hitchhiker.
Steve: I'll keep my eyes peeled for that one.
Guy: We slow down? That's one thing I hate about this highway, it goes like this (waves his hands around). We're almost there now. (I guess that's it up there). Yeah, I just want to get uptown as far as I can, I've got bad legs, it's hard to walk. Once I see it I'll know where I'm at. So you guys are going to hit Missoula, huh? Well if you see a guy with cockeyes, he's cockeyed joe. If you see him, tell him I said hi. Fisheyes, know what I mean?
Steve: Yeah.
Me: Just find uptown! It's up on the hill, up by the mines. Just follow that white car. Run over it if you want to, I'll pick up the pieces. Cause this is what they call the flats. Just hit the top of the hill. (which one?) biggest one. Yeah, cause I used to live up here at the trailor parks, about a mile out. 30 years ago. Probably older than you are. (incomprehensible) heyuck a heh! jokes. Those flags are really big aren't they?
Steve: Yeah people here are really patriotic.
Guy: When I was in Spokan... I used to sell the phone thing, what do you call that? 40 bucks. They gave me a paycheck, I said give it to someone who wants a flag. Yeah cause my cowboy buddy lives down here by the gas station, but I've got to find my wife, wherever the hell she's at. Can't do nothing right. Course I'm irish... hahaha! Don't look at me like that!
Steve: (nervous laughter)
Guy: Course we could always fight.
Steve: ... I suppose...
Guy: Well you got to stick up for yourself, that's one god damned thing.
Steve: I'm not a fighter I'm an artist.
Guy: I'm both. After I beat you up I could always draw you. I was a bronche rider, my friend was a bull rider. He's broke up worse than me.
Steve: Both seem like excellent career paths for inflicting long term pain on yourself
Guy: How old are you? 38?
Steve: 24.
Guy: Oh, make my mind up, would you? Go up to the next block. My stupid wife is up there. I'm going to visit my wife. I'm probably going to beat her up. KIDDING! I'll probably beat up her boyfriend though. My buddy rick works at that liquor store, I'll probably get a pint from him. If I can't find her, hell with it, someone else can have her. Stories are always good. You've always got something to remember. Remember me.
Gene: Remember me. What's my name?
Guy: Patrick.
Gene: Gene. You're off to a bad start. (Gene gives him a couple bucks and wishes him well)

Please Stand By For These Important Words:

2009-06-30T04:23:00.000-07:00

So I've been to quite a few places since last we were together. I'm not sure how much I could go into about how I even got on this tour without boring you..

I've seen some of Indiana, and a nice suburb of Chicago called Villa Park (habitated by the brother-in-law and sister of the guys I'm traveling with), who for CHURCH RUNNING CHRISTIANS, are as nice as the ones who talked me into/helped-me-into Baptism. I've met these guys' mom and dad, and also the drummer's wife and kid (M and O), AND EVEN HER PARENTS (in KOHLER, WI); all these places I've stayed, and at the very least, with THIER family who felt so much like my own in my first week away from home.

I am cooking as much as I can. For everyone who'll have us over. Carrying babies off as much as the blessings would let me.

Talking to each and everyone aside, and the whole time being asked to travel only for the sake of my abilities to play music (and wash clothes).

Now I'm making ten-bucks a day for all my "band-mother" duties: cooking, laundry, and general handling of the band's collective absent-mindedness.

We are presently mixing down a demo (of which I am ALSO in charge of) that we recorded with some of the best recording/playing equipment I've ever seen, and in a place where I feel a certain part of my childhood might still be missing (Cassville, WI).

I've been to Eau Claire, WI, a small, though musically supportive town in itself, and went skinny-dipping (nearly) at dawn in a river; though had the BEST time when I met Mali, from Menomonee, WI, who took us to the river-bottoms (Chippewa?). I saw brothers (mine) connect after years. I made a long-overdue friend. I threw myself further into the river. I sat IN the current (literally). From where I sat with Mali digging rocks and transversing the current, I saw a boy plunge tens-of-feet off the train truss-ell (bridge) with my companions (brothers), only he didn't come back up, and after long hours of searching, we found out days later that his body was discovered in the dam, down-river.

The sun was shining when he died. The weather was beautiful and people all around him were holding each other and discovering their own mortality.

We drove on to other gems: Minneapolis. Fargo(where I'd finally been able to pick up traces of friends who'd played there before and gave me a show ( a good one with the FILLERS and LONELY H and Blind Joe (the best damn country singer I know) because of it..) Bismarck, where we met the BEST friends of the so-far trip, Elijah and a supernatural group from Minneapolis called "Spirits of the Red City". A family band, whom I don't mind admitting, were the result of any hard dreaming and listening I've done inside myself for so long.

SOTRC are a gorgeous, supernatural-sounding, seven-piece, led by Will Garrison, (who's done his time in Louisville and Minneapolis, AT LEAST). There are a pair of classically-trained fiddle players (BROTHERS) (one little, one big) who not ONLY COOK (WELL), but who play like they were playing each other's wedding/funeral, and who play along side one Rachel Overby (Double-Bass, Vocals) AND her adorable sister (whom you might equally fall for), Alyssa; both of who grew up in one of the biggest folk tribes of the Northwest. I met them and ate with them, and then after my time in Billings, Montana, caught up with them again in Missoula, MT where we were greeted like old friends and forced ourselves into next-day hedonism (foods/hammocks/
mango-mimosas), and for the rest of the day proceeded to cook, cook, cook. Two names not yet mentioned are surprises for you. But know this tribe is not only RELEVANT, but talented as any sing-along you or I could ever muster.

I am in love with all of them, equally, for seven different reasons.

I played a show in Missoula at the same house party. I was told I made a boy cry (which was always a true gauge for me, ask my new friends).

I played with Will and smoked with Anthony, and amazed all with an after-hours-Swiss-Chard sauté, stacked with GARLIC and more-garlic-rooster-HEAT, left-over diced, fried potatoes, PEANUT-BUTTER and RAISINS (of all things). IT WAS "AFRICAN". YUP. "AFRICAN". AND THEY LOVED IT. OVER SPAGHETTI. Then as a digestive/dessert, I served fresh-watermelon sprinkled (secretly) with sweetened lemonade mix. I was blowing minds. Forget about the girl that blew me off that night, though would've married me the night before. Nice teeth, yes. Good ears, maybe. Poor sleeping skills, indeed.

I made some mistakes, coming onto girls(one or two, sisters of mine) with several different reactions (not regrets, but forgetting myself).

I made friends and can't forget the hitchhiker we picked up between Billings and Missoula that we took all the way to Butte. Crazy Fuck."..my ugly wife..I can say that cuz I love her" Dave transcribed the whole thing..I snuck a picture.

I slept as many sleepless nights as I ever have. I had a nightmare hitting Idaho. (ask me about it), and woke up screaming as Steve drove and Dave wondered even MORE about me. They finally understood (or maybe not) why I DON'T SLEEP MUCH.

I've seen Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho and Washington for the first time and fell for each of them.I saw Seattle for the first time today. Another religious pilgrimage of sorts (nearly L.A.).

I played Seattle for the first time today.

I may see Christa in the next coming days.

I am alone and OKAE..

I miss you, too..

GeneJr

Death

2009-06-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I've narrowed down how I'm going to die to one of two options. Either Steve's driving, or Gene's driving.

Steve

Ignores me when I tell him important timely directions like STOP or TURN LEFT HERE or WATCH OUT FOR THAT DEER.
Tailgates.
Drives under the speed limit.
Drifts all over the road if there are any distractions like beef jerky, someone being not perfectly still in the passenger seat, a semi somewhere, or he needs to move the sun visor.

Gene

Fucks with the ipod while swerving all over the road.
Starts lane changes THEN shoulder checks THEN violently swerves back into his lane if there's someone in his blind spot.
Drives with his face about 4 inches from the steering wheel.
Claims he's fine to drive when he's drunk or going on 10 minutes of sleep.
Can't hear the turn signal clicking, and so leaves it on until I tell him YET AGAIN to turn it off.
Has that New York City taxi / go-cart-racer driving style.

Today Steve was driving and Gene was napping in the back and Gene woke up screaming. "Aaaaah! Nooo! Noooooo!" He had a dream Steve fell asleep driving and he woke up to see Steve slumped over just as we were about to plunge off the mountains and die.

Why don't I drive more often you ask, seeing as I'm the least likely to get us all killed? I'm trying to get some work done. It's not exactly the most calming work environment though, so just remember that next time you're a little bored in your non-deadly cube.

New Itinerary, old photos

2009-06-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

Due to various extenuating circumstances (mostly passport issues), we have to amend our itinerary slightly. As always, the full version is available on our press kit.

More minor changes may be made in the near future. Keep your eyes peeled.

We also recently got our hands (via Facebook) on some photos a friend took of our Eau Claire backyard show.

Share and enjoy!

2009-06-27T16:42:00.000-07:00

Never fear, faithful readers! I still live. I just haven't been able to get enough internet time the last few days to post here.

As Dave mentioned in his post, we played a sweet show in Fargo. Here's some bootlegs:

Karate - You've gotta show an audience who's boss!
Summertime Roll - Wait... we started with this one. Maybe we didn't show anyone who's boss after all.
thE32nd - (5)
Happiness - We've gotten better at killing the computer when it gets unruly.
The Adventures of Cri... yadda yadda - So sick of typing that (and a fever. Sick of the fever too.)
Fat Kid Emo Pants - This song gets better every time we play it! (It was even better at the Bismark show! (which you will never hear (see later portions of this post))).
It's a Good Thing - The only one where we didn't have to kill the computer at all.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Even country fans appreciate epicness when they see it.

Other amusing quotes of the evening.
Girl 1: Let's go in and see [blind] Joe play!
Girl 2: Even though he can't see us.

aww...

Part 2!

The next day, we played a totally sweet show in Bismark, ND. That was booked in a similar way in that the open mic we meant to play got canceled, but we jumped on the bill of an actual show later.

It was a really good show that, unfortunately, we didn't get a good recording of.
Company was the only song which remotely turned out. The rest were too distorted by the recording process. Sad day.

Fargo, ND, Rock Capital of the World!

2009-06-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

We started by watching a brutal hardcore show in a coffee shop basement, and met a dude who knew a dude who needed a band to fill in 3 blocks away.

We played for beer. We opened for The Lonely H who were a bunch of very talented 20 year olds growing their mustaches as hard as they could. They've been at it since 13. The last band was The Fillers. We helped get the dance party started, then they let us crash on their extremely comfortable couches.

Me to the first cute girl: Come dance! (She comes up to dance)
First cute girl to second cute girl: Come up here! (She comes up too)
Both cute girls to Gene: Dance with us!
30 seconds pass.
Second cute girl to Gene: Your hands are too low. I'm not comfortable with this.
First cute girl to me: I mean, we can dance, but I have a boyfriend.
10 seconds pass.
First cute girl is dancing with second cute girl. I'm slow dancing with Gene.

Rock and Roll!

Too diseased to type

2009-06-24T12:33:00.001-07:00

I'm sick, so no witty comments today

Total eclipse of the heart
It's a Good Thing
Adventures of Cristobal...
The 32nd
Chelsea Hotel No. 2

Also

2009-06-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

Back story: I forgot I had Steve's keys in my pocket when I jumped off the bridge, causing the alarm thing to not work for a day.

Gene: (using Steve's computer) The internet is slow. I guess I can download porn later.
Steve: Please don't download porn on my computer.
Me: (pretending to be Steve) Hm, let's consider all the implications of that joke, and take it to its logical conclusion.
Steve: I will set you both ablaze.

Later that day...

Steve: What? Who broke the leg off my amp?
Gene: We're pretty rough on that thing.
Me: Yeah. Sometimes I jump off the bridge with it.
Steve: Please don't download porn on my amplifier.

I couldn't stop laughing. That brother of mine, he's one sharp dude.

Also, we were going to pick up groceries in Monomonee for dinner with a girl Gene was impressing.

Gene: How do you guys feel about driving?
Me: It's just down there. Let's walk.
Gene: (resigned) Ok...

Later...

Gene: (to me) I've got like 120 pounds on you. That whole walk I was trying really hard not to breathe hard. HUFF PUFF HUFF PUFF!

Tensions Run Stupid

2009-06-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

I had a great day. The open mic night was folky yet fun, I got to hang out with Laura, an old friend from college, and I had pho for lunch. The rest of the band had a slightly rougher time. Excerpts:

Me: Gene wants us to go check out that free band over there. Want me to unplug you? (unplug)
Steve's Computer: Beep!
Steve gives me a look of contempt.
I plug the computer back in.
Steve's Computer: Beep!
Steve: STOP UNPLUGGING AND PLUGGING IN MY COMPUTER!!!

Me: (driving) Where to park... I guess we could just park in a garage. There's one...
Gene: Turn left.
I turn right, looking for a cheaper garage.
Gene: I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!!!

Steve: Then we'll do Total Eclipse.
Gene: I am sick of butchering that song! Our time will be better served doing originals!
Steve: No! People like covers!
Simmering tension...

Tee Hee!

Better late than never.

2009-06-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, we played at the Mousetrap in Eau Claire, WI. They let us do a half hour set because we brought drums. Buy those fellows a drink, my friends! Buy them a drink!

Karate - by Alan Eliazar, a friend of Gene's. It's got some pretty sweet lyrics about... well... karate.
Somewhere in Between - Gene's Supervillain song!
The 32nd - I think we get a prize once we've got 32 bootlegs of this. (4)...
Summertime Roll - By Gene's Addiction
It's a Good Thing - Computer! You betray us!
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Seriously, Computer. I will throw you out a window.
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Hopefully, me getting pissed off and slamming my computer shut looked like "stage presence"...

We didn't play anything yesterday because we're lazy and went swimming in Menominee instead.

Proof Yet Again

2009-06-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

I'm hanging out at 420 Internet Cafe.

Wait, that stands for Acts 4:20. Tee hee!

I chalk this up to a greater trend where people creating religiously themed whatever sometimes completely lack an ear for innuendo or cultural references. My other favorite example being an 18th birthday party I was invited to many years ago: A Celebration Of Christian Manhood. Well, that or any song containing words like, "Jesus inside me" or "on my knees for Jesus" and so on. Giggle.

Zombie Dog at the Zombie House

2009-06-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today, we're in my old haunt: Eau Claire. We played behind the house I used to live in for a bunch of friends from an anime convention that I... nerdy mcnerd nerd in the nerdery with the other nerds... but I digress

Yesterday, we learned the ever important lesson of microphone placement. We now have two bootlegging devices, so the recordings should be twice as good, right? Unfortunately, we did a terrible job of placing them; the mics got completely overloaded on one, and its tracks are unusable. We salvaged the other though and got some pretty decent recordings, especially of some of Gene's stuff.

Share and enjoy.

If I Gave You a Guitar - If Gene gives you a guitar, you damn well better write him a song now!
The 32nd - It only took until the 3rd time I posted this song to get the name right!
Something in Between - Turns out Gene has a super-villain song too! Kick ass!
Summertime Roll - Some more Jane's Addictionny goodness for you.
Happiness - This ones a little quieter than the rest of our songs, so it turned out pretty well in the end.
Carpedium - Super-villains for everyone!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Singing "I went to UWEC and gained the freshman 15" made me really sad. I did gain 15+ pounds after coming to UWEC!
It's a Good Thing - It's a passable thing. This song was mostly a sound check, so the levels aren't perfect.
Canadian Drugs PSA - A completely unironic cover, I assure you.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Turn around Eau Claire.
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - I hate typing out that name so much! My poor abused wrists!

We're also playing the open mic at the mousetrap tonight.

We'll be back in town July 14th.

A Horrendous Cacaphony of Sound

2009-06-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

...is what the bootlegs from the bell tower came out as. Unfortunately, the bells dominate the sound so that little else is audible. I even called in the big guns and consulted the guys at the home recording forums, but we could not do much.

Long story short, we had a lot of fun, but these recordings aren't the best you've ever heard.

32 - Gene's hit radio single.
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Now that we have a bassist, we pretty much have to play this one every day.
It's a Good Thing - our radio hit single.
I am the Greatest - since this one is pretty simple to teach new people.
Every Rose Has its Thorn - Isn't this song about a stripper? There was no room for strippers in the bell tower!
Jam 1 - We had a new instrument and new musicians, it was hard not to just noodle around and jam every once in a while.
Jam 2 - Really hard
Jam 3 - Ok, we probably weren't really trying to stay on any kind of track.

Madison Bell Tower

2009-06-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

Tim Rusterholzis an old friend of mine. He happened to be in Madison yesterday. Now there's an instrument called a carillon which is basically a bell tower.

You play it on a set of levers laid out like a piano keyboard.

There aren't very many people who play these things, so those who do tend to know each other. Tim's grandfather was the president of some carillon society or another, so when Tim talked with the guy who sort of runs the carillon on the UW Madison campus, he said, "How could I get in here to practice?" The guy answered, "I knew your grandfather. I'll give you a copy of this key." And that was that.

Now Tim has had this idea for a while that it would be fun to get a band up in the tower to play along with the bells, so that's what we did yesterday. Holy fuck it was fun. First, I played the carillon for a couple of songs. The lower keys have huge bells with huge knockers, so you really have to get into hitting the levers. My left hand is a little bruised actually. Then we traded around a lot with different people on bass, drums, guitar, vocals, and bells. The sound travels really far too, so we were playing for everyone in a 4 block radius or so. The drums sounded great up there, they were almost as fun to play as the bells. I had a couple of goose-bump moments on both bells and drums where I thought, "This is soooo much fun! Waaaaaah!"

People walking by were amazed that someone was using the tower. We just left the door open, so while we were playing lots of wide eyed people would come upstairs to take a look around. The floor the band was on was quite loud because of the drums and guitar. The next level up was quite loud because of the bells. The view is great as well, so it was quite an experience with this tremendous cacophony and view of the sunset. If you were brave, you could climb up the old wooden ladder, across the plank over the bells, and up the iron ladder to the roof. I gave a lot of tours between songs.

We have some friends in Madison, so we got to spend a lot of time hanging out with them in the tower. It was super fun, all said.

3-minute setup! (plus or minus rock time...)

2009-06-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

We played an open mic at an Irish pub in Madison last night. Being the slackers we were, we didn't show up until a few hours late when they were just about to tear down.

By begging the guy running the event (Mark Croft. Buy him a drink, my friends.) and promising to setup in 3 minutes or less, we secured a spot at the last minute. As we were setting up, some other guy on tour from Kansas City showed up and too begged for a spot. (Seriously, Mark is a great and gracious fellow and deserves free beer.)

Due to the 3-minute time constraint (ok, we set up in 6), we couldn't set up everything.

Here's what we sound like with no guitar effects, computers, or drums other than one snare:

Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - This was actually the last song we played, but it sounded the best. (I love having a bassist!)
It's a Good Thing - I didn't really miss the computer until we hit the bridge of this song...
Happiness - we started off with our ballad because Dave hadn't gotten his drum yet, and this song isn't so dependent on percussion.

No Total Eclipse that night. Gene's still not completely comfortable with it. (Understandably, so! Have you seen the chord progression for that sucker? It's all over the place!)

Tonight, we plan to play in a bell tower. Rawk!

Downtime plus rawk

2009-06-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

We did get bootlegs of our backyard show last night. Fear not!

It's a Good Thing - With bonus bassy awesomeness!
I Am the Greatest - Some things never change
Happiness - The token ballad for the ~~ladies~~ lady in the audience.
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Adventurous!
Summertime Roll - So yeah... we're playing a Jane's Addiction song now, it turns out.
Gene's Song (I forget what he called it) - this is one of our bassist's own songs. Good times with variety!
Fat Kid Emo Pants - They're fat and emo. What other excuse do we need?

Downtime

2009-06-15T11:51:00.001-07:00

We know a lot of people around here, so, uh, we haven't exactly been doing much besides hanging out and sleeping. We did play a back porch outside Milwaukee for a crowd of 8 people and one million mosquitoes. Odin, my 4 month old son, came along and helped out on drums, by which I mean he whacked the snare once and drooled on the sticks.

In Chicago we tracked down a show for the return trip in a bar where the bartender told us this story after buying the small crowd a round of shots.

"My friend Mikey's birthday is today, but I buried him yesterday. He was checked into rehab, and those bitches checked him out. He didn't even have a heroin problem, it was for something else, but that's what he OD'd on. They drove around with him dead in the back seat for 3 hours. He was 24. He had a girlfriend and an 18 month old. Today everyone is getting fuuuucked up."

Also,

"I'm dating someone out in Seattle. He's one of the fishermen from Deadliest Catch. (she shows us a picture signed by all the fishermen) I don't even like seafood! Last time I was out there I asked, 'Uh, can I have a steak?'"

(gene here:)

2009-06-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

So I went to my regular open mic spot in Toledo, as usual, to take a break from all the rigmarole and debauchery, when I came across two guys sitting in the foyer at their laptops.I recognized them as potential newbies and out-of-towners, and immediately introduced myself. I have always been diplomatic in that sort of way to outside artists visiting my home spot. I found out the details of their adventure and by the end of the night borrowed their guitar for my own performance and sort of invited myself to jump on their tour to which they happily (thankfully) accepted. My time in Toledo had long been up, and it was time for some sort of divine intercedence of sorts. I believe this encounter was just that.

I've been on the road two days with these two brothers, and I believe wholeheartedly that this is the path that was meant and laid out for me. A friend sent me a quote from a Anne Lamott book, where she talks about a friend who had all these things go wrong in her life, over and over, and she was trying to be a good sport, but one day on a train, she was whining to a guy next to her and (now I will quote from the book):

"it turned out that this man worked for the Dalli Lama. And he said, gently, that they believe when a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born, and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

This sort of says it all about this moment in my life and now this tour. more on all these things and more..when I RETURN..

A taste of things to come.

2009-06-12T16:35:00.001-07:00

We've only played one gig since picking up Gene, our bassist.

Here is a taste of that. Listen to how awesome that man sounds despite never having practiced or played our songs before!

It's a Good Thing - Anyway, we took a day off to practice and teach him the songs. From here on out, we'll be more rockinger than ever!

Fort Wayne

2009-06-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

More open mic nighting, but this time with a rock and roll bass player. Here's how you pack a van
with weirdos.

Conversation outside the bar as we're packing up:
Sunburned dude: Hey, what's up.
Me: Not much. You from the Fort Wayne area?
Sunburned dude: Yeah, just up the road in a town of about 200 people. I'm a farmer. How about you?
Me: We're from Queens up in New York. We're on a big tour to Seattle and back.
Sunburned dude: Is Queens a small town?
Me: Part of the city actually.
Sunburned dude: Get a lot of pussy up there?
Me: (somewhat startled pause, poorly hidden) My fair share I guess.
Sunburned dude: How about on this tour?
Me: Nah, I'm sure the smell doesn't help, among other reasons.

Which made me think two things. First, sunburned dude needs to spend some time in a town larger than 200 people. Second, there are lots of little details that it's hard to appreciate, like:

The smell of the van in morning after three not-recently-showered guys slept in it.
Spending hours in Starbucks trying to figure out where to play next.
How fun it is to rock out even if you only get 10 minutes and you spent all day getting there.
How much time you spend being irritable because you're lost and not eating properly.
The moments where someone does something really amazing at an open mic in the middle of nowhere.

You Will Be Successful In Toledo

2009-06-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

We hit up a local arts center and crashed poetry night. Grizzled old atheist Hemingway characters recited poems about death and sex in gravely voices. Younger ladies including some high schoolers read surprisingly enjoyable and angsty poems about characters, stories, and things they were dealing with.pictured: Elaina, a talented local poet, who said, "I was worried my work would be too radical until the poem about old people fornicating." For that one, picture a your grandfather reciting, "I reached into her skirt, and felt for the leather wallet of her vagina," and "The back of her hand brushed against my trowsers and my shrivelled, scared penis."

I played this old piano they had in the room. It was all very fun. What a great corner of America we tracked down. Seriously, let's all write poems and hit up some open poetry nights.Also, here's Gene, our new basist. Don't ask me how we all fit in the van, I don't really get it myself, but I slept like a rock. He's on his way to Portland to try out for an honest to goodness successful band, and we're going to get him there at the rate of about negative ten miles an hour.Rock and roll!

Special piano version!

2009-06-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

We had a piano at last night's open mic!

Now you have these:

It's a Good Thing - It is a good thing. A very good thing.
I Am the Greatest - We had to teach Dave the chords, and we decided Total Eclipse was too complicated. Sorry everybody.
Our House - Fewer verses! No Bridge! Whooo!

The Robot Rebellion is Upon Us.

2009-06-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

We referred to my computer as the third member of the band at yesterday's gig. Some jokes were then made about the electronics rising up and seizing creative control of the band.

The electronics then proceeded to rise up and take seize control of the band.

It's a Good Thing - This song did not get recorded. The recorder wasn't on. (Robot rebellion #1)

Total Eclipse of the Heart - It took us three attempts before the computer decided to play along with this one. (Rebellion #2)

I am the Greatest - The looping pedal didn't work. (Rebellion #3)

If we don't make it to Toledo, it's because the computers killed us. Avenge our deaths.

Goodbye Cleveland!

2009-06-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

We went to a super fun full stage open mic night at Kobalt. Half of these things have drum sets that are way sweeter than mine. We almost spent the night at a super pretentious folk open mic, so that was close. Luckily they pointed us in the right direction as they wanted our non-folk asses out of their coffee shop.

Cleveland is a big place, but we totally ran into our new best bud Dave from Akron, who famously observed that it's taken Steve and me 9 days to get a measly 10 hours out of New York. I wingmanned for him with mixed results (I did a good job, I swear). Regardless, I had a great time playing pool, rocking out, and drinking great beer until 2. Dave even let us crash at his place.

We met these folks at dinner, they came to check us out.

I guess I understand how you could lose a guitar.

On to Toledo! Rock and roll!

Cleveland bootlegs

2009-06-08T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Recordings of our first paid gig! (in no particular order)

Buddy Holly - The Weezer classic, performed actually quite well if I do say so myself
Conspiracy - Don't sell the wife and kids to get your hands on this mp3 (it's free; that would be stupid), but it's worth a listen.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - Cutting yourself to sleep at night never gets old!
Happiness - Ballads: they're what's for dinner?
I Am the Greatest - I'll stop singing it when it stops being true.
It's a Good Thing - We hadn't quite gotten our levels set when we did this one, but it still turned out pretty well.
Our House - Words cannot express the rock! Well, they probably could, but I can't think of any right now.
The Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - This is probably our best take of this song so far.
The Hand Jive - I forgot the second verse, but that's OK! I just sang the first one again.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - So. Damn. Epic!
You Had Me at Hello - The guys from Hammerloaf were at the show. They insisted we play this song. We didn't know it, so we made it up. (By "made it up," we mean "Stole Happy Wednesday's 'Free Bird' idea.")

Until next time!

That's Right Bitches, We Got Paid

2009-06-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

Big milestone team, we got an honest to goodness show at a real venue for money.

Here's a picture of the crowd, and us, looking like... imps or something.

Well, "crowd," anyway. That's OK though, baby steps. One dude in the audience really got into it, came up to sing Under Pressure with us during the Zombie Dogaraoke and proceeded to yowel and huff for the 45 seconds we let him stay on stage. I guess Dogaroke is only as not-weird-in-a-weird-bad-way as your audience. Or something. Anyway, Cleveland again today, and Toledo tomorrow.

Grooooooooss quote.

2009-06-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

We went to a show where the lead girl was in an accident or something and wears an eye patch. She totally owned the situation by starting a pirate punk band.

Audience Dude: Your mother's uncle!
Weird Greasy Pony Tail Band Member: That's how I got here. Not that I'm complaining, I just want in on the action.

Grooooooss.

Anyway, this morning I had my coffee with fresh goat's milk. Everyone's rent in this house is about $180 / month. We drank prodigious amounts of beer last night. Between the lot, there were 5 stabbing scars and 3 broken face stories. Most of us got up at noon. The brothers had matching tape cassette and crossbones tattoos. Hopefully this is giving you a idea of how awesome this house is.

Akron

2009-06-07T10:55:00.001-07:00

We spent yesterday hanging out with a guy we met on couchsurfing.com. He tried to get us into a show at the last minute, but the other bands wouldn't have it. So no bootlegs today.

It was good times. We hung out and drank beer and traded road stories.

He also gave us some tips on places to check out in Cleveland for tonight and tomorrow.

Cross your fingers for us and hope that we get a sweet gig!

Also, guitar quest is complete: We bought a nice, blue Wasburn X-series. Then we discovered it was missing an important part. Then we bought the replacement part. Now we have a sweet guitar which is probably better than the old one.

And that's how I saved Christmas.

Bootlegs: Super Bonus Acoustic Version

2009-06-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

Here are some recordings of the show Dave talked about in the last post.

They're extra fun because they're acoustic versions, with less distortion and BONGOS!

Adventures of Cristobal - It's a little sloppy, but it'll do
It's a Good Thing - Are you really surprised?
Total Eclipse of the Heart - It sounds pretty good with an acoustic and bongos.
I am the Greatest - Everyone else insisted that we keep playing while they take a break.
Happiness - Why not play the ballad?

Share and enjoy.

Pittsbuburgh, Take 2

2009-06-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Actually we never made it into Pittsburgh, but we got close, and recovered from Steve's guitar walking out on him. There's definitely a country song in there somewhere. We know it walked because we headed back to the bar and the guys who cleaned up as we were leaving definitely didn't seen it. Anyway, he's got a snappy new blue girl whose heart will remain true, I can just tell. Seeing as I have no idea when his birthday is or when I last got him a birthday present, I got him a case.

Last night we hung out at the Keynote Cafe just outside Pittsburgh.

We got there really late as New Guitar Quest took up most of the day and required a lot of driving (including another $10 on the Pennsylvania turnpike). We did an acoustic set, where yours truly was an expert bongo-ist. Jill, the owner, was super friendly and hooked us up with all kinds of free food. We played some blues with the other guys there for the night too. I wish I had a picture, but just picture two dudes who look exactly like this.

Bonus Country Song: Steve's Guitar Broke His Heart

You may have cost a hundred bucks,
Your wiring may be faulty.
But Steve kind of loved you for the times
you spent rocking out together.

But now you've walked away
Nary a whisper to the dudes in the bar.
You took the memories,
and broke poor Steve's heart.

Steve's moved on from your cheating ways,
and got a new blue beauty.
She'll never wander far from home.
Though Steve'd have you back in a jiffy.

Except we probably wouldn't drive back across the Pennsylvania Turnpike to get you.

Hello Pittsburgh!

2009-06-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Here's how yesterday went down.

$10 and an hour on the Pennsylvania turnpike to just outside Pittsburgh.
We get to some wacky elks club type place having an open stage blues jam night. They're giving us free pizza, everyone is really friendly, the beer is $1, we're watching the 4th game of the Stanley Cup series, the house band fires up and they're really good, it's looking like it's going to be a great night.
I start to get our stuff out of the van. I don't see Steve's guitar.
Steve doesn't see Steve's guitar.
Steve's guitar is missing.
$10 back across the Pennsylvania turnpike towards last night's venue.
We find a place with WiFi, and decide we should look up the number and call ahead.
They have no idea what we're talking about. Note to the Baltimore Guitar Group: let us know if you find Steve's guitar. We think somebody might have accidentally walked off with it.
We take an extra thorough look through the van, pulling things out so we can make sure the guitar isn't under anything.
Back on the Pennsylvania turnpike, except Steve turns the wrong direction. You can't turn around on this puppy, except illegally, which the nice toll lady advises us to do.
Now we're headed the right direction, once again back to Pittsburgh.
We pull over for the night, we're done. $1.60 for the turnpike.
Steve says, "Where's the snare? And my pedal box?"
I realize I didn't put the stuff back in the van when we looked for Steve's guitar.
Back on the turnpike, $1.60.
Our stuff is still there on the street.
I collapse in melodrama.
We call it a night before we, oh I don't know, blow up the van, or accidentally shoot the other guy, or who the hell knows what.
Today we're going to $10 the turnpike, and hit up some Pittsburgh pawn shops for a new guitar.

Rock and Roll!!!

Pittsburg Pt 1.

2009-06-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

DAMMIT!!!

PS middle of nowhere

2009-06-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

We got some recordings of our show and the R&R karaoke (I'm digging the term "Zombie Dogeraoke")

It's a Good Thing - We play this song a lot 'cause it's really good!
Total Eclipse of the Heart - I can't think of any reason why we wouldn't play this song every night for the whole damn tour!
I am the Greatest - yes, I am.

And from the Zombie Dogeraoke:
(Note, all these pictures were taken by Mike of the BGG. Thank you Mike for all the work you put into this event!)

500 Miles - sung by the fine fellow on the left

Ticket to Ride - sung by this classy lady (also on the left)

Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love - What does Van Halen have against complete words?

I Walk the Line - Sung by this talented bloke

Lightning Crashes - As sung by this *I'm running out of adjectives* dude

Baba O'Reilly - Featuring this man-of-the-hour... wait... Unfortunately, there are no pictures of this song or the guy who sang it available...

Walking on Sunshine - Featuring the vocal stylings of this unparalleled young woman

And here are some more pictures of us. Again, thank you, Mike for setting up this event, taking pictures, running sound, and all the other work you put in!

The Middle of Nowhere Maryland!

2009-06-04T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we hit up an open mike night in the middle of nowhere vaguely outside Baltimore hosted by the Baltimore Guitarist Group. It was a pretty damn good day. We picked up one last Phillie Cheese Steak on our way out of Phillie, and headed to Maryland. Once we arrived in the boonies, a Rock and Roll afternoon of frisbee, the driving range, a picnic, and beautiful weather prepared us for a Rock and Roll evening of Rock and Roll Karaoke at this bar Steve found online.

This is the first time we actually put the Rock and Roll Karaoke idea to the test, and it was everything I could have hoped for in rocking out. Lots of people in the bar got into it and did a great job. Our new best bud Marty joined us on bass too. He declined to join the tour as he's a little tall to sleep comfortably in the van (not that I'm so short that it counts as comfortable). There's a moral here, which is that Rock and Roll Karaoke is pretty much the most fun thing ever.

The other bands were quite good. This is a common theme at open mike nights. This country is stuffed with talented people who go through an awful lot of effort to play for 15 minutes in front of 10 people. We're smack dab in the middle of that Venn Diagram.

Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
- Banksy

Here are some of my favorite lines from other bands' songs, accuracy not guaranteed.

I got drunk and stumbled away, but I didn't get that far, because I fell right back in your arms.
- The guy whose songs had a decidedly autobiographical vibe to them.
She took the pussy, I got the cat.
- Duquense Incline, writing about a girlfriend the drummer had who left him with the cat just before she took off. R&R Karaoke-wise, Jimmy did 500 Miles, and Jay did... I forget.
Fish swim. Birds fly. Daddies yell. Mamas cry. Old men sit and think. I drink.
- Some guy who covered a Mary Gauthier song. He also did a great job of a I Walk the Line Rock and Roll Karaoke style.

Philadelphia pt 2

2009-06-03T10:11:00.001-07:00

Philly is a really cool city. We stuck around for a second day (we'd hoped for a third too, but we just couldn't find a gig. *sigh* off to Baltimore...)

Anyway, we played another open mic night. Again, hosted by Boy Wonder. He's a pretty cool guy and was quite patient with us being obnoxious and demanding.
It was at the Tritone, shown here

We played two songs:
I am the Greatest - right before we started playing, the high hat fell apart in 3 places. Dave spent the first half of the song trying to fix it and the second half with his snare drum way too close to the recorder (that part's probably my fault, but I'm still blaming him).
Our House - we lost the tempo in the beginning, but once we found it again, this song went pretty well.

Lessons learned:
1. mic placement. Don't suck at it.
2. Plug everything in. Why do I keep forgetting this?

Itinerary pt, 2 + press kit

2009-06-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

I suppose it's about time we posted our full itinerary here. Since blogspot didn't like our previous tabled form, we're just going to link offsite to our press kit. (You'll need javascript enabled).

If you're interested in pimping our band at some local venues somewhere along the road, that's the info to use.

Share and enjoy.

Philadelphia pt. 1

2009-06-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

We're doing two days in Philadelphia.

Day 1: We argued about whether or not it was worth it to try to book real gigs or just do open mic nights.
We hung around with some of Dave's friends. They were pretty cool. One of them let us crash in his dorm room AND take showers! Sweet!

We played the open mic at this place called World Cafe Live. It was a pretty cool venue, but we only got to play "one" song.
It's a Total Eclipse of the Good thing. We got a minor talking to for that one.

Dave also did the drums some random schoolteacher we met in line's rap about her dad. She kept it down to earth and authentic by forgoing any of those pretentious ABAB rhyme schemes and sticking with the classic AAAA
For My Dad

"You can't kill the metal no matter how hard you try" - Boy Wonder (MC of Philly Rising open mic)

We didn't take any pictures, but you can check out the venue's website if you really want to see what it looks like. http://www.worldcafelive.com/

Farewell Sweet Princeton

2009-06-01T07:01:00.001-07:00

We spent about 4 hours lost in the countryside of Jersey before we ended up at Princeton, a mere 15 miles from New Brunswick. Granted, we accidentally played a game of mini golf somewhere in there. Anyway, last night we played in a square off of Witherspoon street in Princeton. It's graduation time so we played for a lot of families.

We made $14! Enough to buy 2 beers at the local brewpub where I declared the Coffee and Cream Stout to be ok, while Steve declared it the best beer he ever had.

While driving on Quaker Street:
Steve: This street is making me hate Quakers. Are we writing down humorous quotes?
Me: Sure, we can. Why, do you have something funny?
Steve: That bit about the Quakers just there.
Me: I didn't think that was funny.
Steve: I guess you had to be there.

A lady in the Princeton Starbucks to me: Can my daughter go ahead of you? She has a tea ceremony to attend.
Before I could say, "That's the most pretentious thing I've ever heard," the guy ahead of me let them in.

Edit by steve:

Here are some of the better recordings of our R&R Karaoke that night.
Walking on Sunshine
Free Falling
Hit Me With Your Best Shot

May 30

2009-05-31T09:15:00.001-07:00

City: New Brunswick, NJ - Nice town. The knew nothing about NJ besides what I'd seen in Kevin Smith movies, but it turns out that there are some really nice places around here. Every one we talked to was pleasant and helpful (though we never did manage to track down a place to sleep).

Venue: Southwest Burrito - pros: We got free burritos. Cons: no one really listened to us play. People trickled in, bought their burritos, and left. A few chatted with us, but no one did rock and roll karaoke or sat down to listen.

Songs:
Since no one cared, we did our full set plus some R&R karaoke.
The 2+ minutes of banter between songs were cut for your listening pleasure
Carpedium - This was a pretty good take. I recommend listening.
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - I think we finally know how to play this one!
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Even the beautiful croonings of Bonnie Taylor were not enough to bring people in.
Fat Kid Emo Pants - This is an abbreviated version. We dropped the sing-a-long part since there was no one there to sing along.
The Hand Jive - The only song Dave and I co-wrote together, so, of course, Dave hates it.
I Am the Greatest - This was a very sloppy take. Don't bother with it.
Somewhere around here, we started playing Buddy Holly by Weezer, totally messed up and lost the beat, gave up in disgust, and decided to rework the song for tomorrow
Happiness - There was a couple in the burrito shop, so we decided to play a ballad for them and dedicate it to 'em, but they left before we could start playing...
My Love - Since our real ballad had gone so well, we decided to follow it up with our stalking song. If you notice me mumbling towards the end, that's because some old ladies came in, and I felt really awkward singing about domestic violence with them around.
Our House - The Madness classic. Decent take.
Conspiracy - Another song about one person following and frightening another. I'm sensing a trend here.
It's a Good Thing - Saving the best for last! (as if it matters)
Drugs PSA - Just because no one's listening doesn't mean we shouldn't try to educate the kids

The moral of the story: New Brunswick is pretty cool, but burrito shops aren't a great place to do a show.

- Steve

Farewell New Brunswick!

2009-05-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

We're starting to get an idea for how this tour is going to work.

1. Getting lost.
Neither of us has a sense of direction, GPS, a way to get online, or a road atlas younger than 10 years old. I suspect we're going to spend a lot of our time in strange, abandoned places wondering where the hell we should go to get a show.

Note to self: Old Hoes Lane is a good name for the next band.

2. Getting found.
Yesterday worked treasure hunt style. We started at Rutgers which was a wasteland because it turns out students go home during the summer. Some dude told us what street to hit up, where we wandered around until we found a bar, where a very nice bartender gave us a list of places to try, all of which turned us down but suggested other places, one of which was Southwest Burritos, where we played a show to upwards of 5 people and enjoyed sweet burritos. I guess the burritos were the treasure because they were totally on the house.

Pictured: totally sweet burrito.

3. Sleeping in the van.
We've got about 5 places to stay lined up for the 60 or so days we're on tour. We're couch surfing and better-than-the-van-ing, but it's starting to look like we're going to spend many a night thusly:
We totally slept like babies for 9 hours.

4. Driving. In the van.
Neither of us is particularly fond of driving.
Or the other guy driving. In certain cases.

5. Plenty of time to take it easy.
I brought some work with me to help pay for this adventure, and we have a lot of poking around to do when we show up in town. Regardless, so far we've had plenty of time to hang out. Perhaps this will also be a drinking tour. Last night we got a great Irish Stout and Honey Lager at a local brewery called Harvest Moon.

Tonight it's on to Trenton, NJ, where we have a tip to check out The Green Light Vegan Bar. Let the rocking continue!

The Cat Pushed Me Over the Edge

2009-05-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

I did pretty well at the goodbye party last night, I held on when Mara and Odin took off for Wisconsin, I started to lose it when I said goodbye to the teddy bears, and finally started crying when I kissed the cat goodbye on my way out of the house. I've never been homesick before, crazy. I blame it on all my loved ones, including the cat. Damn you, making me so fond of you!

On the bright side, tonight I'm going to sleep for as long as I want, though admittedly on the floor of a minivan. Also, we have our first sweet show of the tour lined up at Southwest Burrito in New Brunswick, NJ. Huzzah!

Show #2

2009-05-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

We played the open mic at the Quays again this week. 'twas pretty sweet!

Songs played:
Carpedium - Turns out, Steve's tone deaf and has no idea what key to sing in.
Our House - Making up for last week's sorry performance of this one.
Happiness - We dedicated our ballad to Samantha, our biggest fan (since last week), but it turns out she wasn't there for our set this time.
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Why wouldn't we play this one? It's clearly our best song.
It's a Good Thing - Why did we save one of our best songs for the encore?

Lessons learned:
Prepare an encore, but don't get too attached to it - We practiced our encore all week, but no one asked for us to play one. We had to beg the audience to demand it. It was actually quite pathetic.
Check your levels - We forgot to make sure the guitar was loud enough. Ironically, this made everything sound better. We'll do better next time.

More Bootlegs

2009-05-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

Here are some more songs we recorded while practicing (again, ranked in descending order of awesomeness):

Fat Kid Emo Pants - Because fashion is very important to us.
I am the Greatest - Regardless of what he tells you, this song is not about how good looking Dave is.
Drugs PSA - A Canadian public service announcement about drugs
Buddy Holly - The Weezer Classic
Conspiracy - Another original
My Love - Because every band needs a song about stalking
Adventures of Cristobal Pt. 2 - Russian scientists making giant snot monsters. What's not to love?

John the smelly landlord part II

2009-05-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

Pictures!

Here's his troll mattress.

Some days, he has to kick yesterdays underwear out of the way before we can get to our equipment.

The Man himself!

Biking to Practice

2009-05-26T07:22:00.001-07:00

Our practice space is down in Brooklyn, so whenever it's nice we bike down from Queens, usually around 45 minutes. Steve's from out of town, and within 5 minutes of our first bike trip, I've got some guy screaming, "I'll break your fucking face you fucking asshole!" out his car window at me. All I did was smack the hood of his car and shout, "Use your signals!" when he cut me off, was that so wrong?

I've, uh, since toned down the ol' aggression a little, though not by much. In my defense, the worst injury so far is a mild sunburn, so I consider myself a successful shirpa.

Bootlegs!

2009-05-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

I picked up a Tascam DR-1 (sponsorship, please!) a few days ago. Basically, I'm trying it out, and if I decide that I like it, I'll bring it along and try to bootleg every show we play. (Well... except for that one time I forgot to turn on the volume...)

Anyway, we recorded our practice today. Here's what we ended up with sorted in descending order of listenability (meaning you probably shouldn't listen to the last few at all.)

Happiness - a ballad
Carpedium - a song about Bond villains
It's a Good Thing - a song about hopes and dreams
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Sing it if you know it!
It's a good thing - we did two takes
Our House - the Madhouse classic
The Hand Jive - This song is so awesome, it refuses to appear on tape (Featuring Dave on the sweet drum solo)
The hand Jive - No solo this time. Hence, a lower ranking.

Hopefully, there will be more soon.

John the Smelly Landlord

2009-05-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

We're renting practice space from this John guy down in Brooklyn. He's weird. Really weird. His internal monologue is completely external and trivial, so he walks around explaining whatever boring things he's doing and how old he is. "When you get to be my age, over fifty, you know how to install doors. I use a machine thread, it's much more accurate. I could really use a beer, I'm over the hill. I'm half a century old. Haha!"

Next, he smells really bad. Combine for this gem of a conversation.

John: "I met this old broad, about my age, blond, white, owns a house. I liked her, I hope I see her again."
Me: "Man to man, you might want to think about bathing more often."
John: "I bathe! I bathe all the time. I took a bath yesterday. I just don't change my clothes very often."
The light goes on. To this day, he's only changed his clothes once that I've seen, and I'm pretty sure he sleeps in them.
Me: "Ah, well then man to man, do some laundry."
John: "These old broads don't mind if you smell, just so long as you explain that you're working."

Later, Steve pointed out that all John apparently cared about was the blond hair and the house.

So if you know any blond broads with a house that don't mind old smelly annoying dudes, I've got just the man.

Itinerary part 1

2009-05-23T08:24:00.001-07:00

Hey everybody,

Here are the towns we'll be in for the first few weeks of the "Screw It! We're Going On Tour" world tour:

Date			Location
May	30	Saturday	Edison, NJ
May	31	Sunday	Trenton, NJ
June	1	Monday	Philidelphia, PA
June	2	Tuesday	Philidelphia, PA
June	3	Wednesday	Baltimore, MD
June	4	Thursday	Pittsburg, PA
June	5	Friday	Pittsburg, PA
June	6	Saturday	Akron, OH
June	7	Sunday	Cleveland, OH
June	8	Monday	Cleveland, OH
June	9	Tuesday	Toledo, OH
June	10	Wednesday	Fort Wayne, IN
June	11	Thursday	South Bend, IN
June	12	Friday	Chicago, IL
June	13	Saturday	Chicago, IL
June	14	Sunday	Milwaukee, WI
June	15	Monday	Milwaukee, WI
June	16	Tuesday	Madison, WI
June	17	Wednesday	Madison, WI
June	18	Thursday	Cassville, WI
June	19	Friday	La Crosse, WI
June	20	Saturday	Eau Claire, WI
June	21	Sunday	Eau Claire, WI

If you live in one of these towns and want to get involved, contact us at ZombieDog@hushmail.com to help us arrange a show and/or place to sleep.

One show down

2009-05-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

5.22.09 - played a show at the keys

Songs played:
"I Am the Greatest" - I am actually the greatest, but Dave claimed the song was about how good he looks. What a jerk!
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - We forgot who wrote this song; fortunately, some kindly drunkards remembered for us.
"It's a Good Thing" - Dave's been humming this song ALL DAY. He seriously needs to cut that out.
"Drugs PSA" - Remember kids, your parents know which drugs are good and which ones are bad. So says Canada.
"Our House" - They asked us for an encore, so we naturally decided to butcher some Mad House.

Lessons learned:
Streamline our setup - Jimmy (the organizer) was pretty annoyed at how long it took us to set up, so we promised to buy him a drink. I'm pretty sure we forgot to do so. I spent today turning my guitar amp into some kind of duct-tape cyborg so we can set up faster.
Practice the songs you're going to play - Seriously, this was the worst rendition of Our House ever.
Turn on the volume - the only reason you're not listening to sweet bootlegs of our show right now is that I forgot to turn the volume up on our DR-1. We recorded 21 minutes of sweet silence.

Show #1

2009-05-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

Steve here.

The first show of the tour is tonight. (Ok. We're not really on tour yet, but we're still doing a show.)

We'll be playing open mic night at the Quays bar in Astoria, New York.

Tell your friends.

Introduction

2009-05-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. This is Steve from Zombie Dog. "What is Zombie Dog?" you may ask. "Why it's a totally sweet grunge/new wave band," I would tell you.

We currently consist of two members: David Smith on drums and vocals and Stephen Smith on guitar, vocals, and electronics.

Within a matter of days, we will be launching our "Screw/F*ck it! We're going on tour" world tour of the northern United States and southern Canada. We plan to post plenty of updates about the tour here, so check back frequently.

We're still finalizing the tour itinerary, but it will be up within a few days.

Rock on!