John the Smelly Landlord

We're renting practice space from this John guy down in Brooklyn. He's weird. Really weird. His internal monologue is completely external and trivial, so he walks around explaining whatever boring things he's doing and how old he is. "When you get to be my age, over fifty, you know how to install doors. I use a machine thread, it's much more accurate. I could really use a beer, I'm over the hill. I'm half a century old. Haha!"

Next, he smells really bad. Combine for this gem of a conversation.

John: "I met this old broad, about my age, blond, white, owns a house. I liked her, I hope I see her again."
Me: "Man to man, you might want to think about bathing more often."
John: "I bathe! I bathe all the time. I took a bath yesterday. I just don't change my clothes very often."
The light goes on. To this day, he's only changed his clothes once that I've seen, and I'm pretty sure he sleeps in them.
Me: "Ah, well then man to man, do some laundry."
John: "These old broads don't mind if you smell, just so long as you explain that you're working."

Later, Steve pointed out that all John apparently cared about was the blond hair and the house.

So if you know any blond broads with a house that don't mind old smelly annoying dudes, I've got just the man.