Death

I'm pretty sure I've narrowed down how I'm going to die to one of two options. Either Steve's driving, or Gene's driving.

Steve

1. Ignores me when I tell him important timely directions like STOP or TURN LEFT HERE or WATCH OUT FOR THAT DEER.
2. Tailgates.
3. Drives under the speed limit.
4. Drifts all over the road if there are any distractions like beef jerky, someone being not perfectly still in the passenger seat, a semi somewhere, or he needs to move the sun visor.

Gene

1. Fucks with the ipod while swerving all over the road.
2. Starts lane changes THEN shoulder checks THEN violently swerves back into his lane if there's someone in his blind spot.
3. Drives with his face about 4 inches from the steering wheel.
4. Claims he's fine to drive when he's drunk or going on 10 minutes of sleep.
5. Can't hear the turn signal clicking, and so leaves it on until I tell him YET AGAIN to turn it off.
6. Has that New York City taxi / go-cart-racer driving style.

Today Steve was driving and Gene was napping in the back and Gene woke up screaming. "Aaaaah! Nooo! Noooooo!" He had a dream Steve fell asleep driving and he woke up to see Steve slumped over just as we were about to plunge off the mountains and die.

Why don't I drive more often you ask, seeing as I'm the least likely to get us all killed? I'm trying to get some work done. It's not exactly the most calming work environment though, so just remember that next time you're a little bored in your non-deadly cube.